Tonight...

So I'm thinking maybe a thought dump every day isn't such a bad thing. I think about a lot of things which are way too deep to bother keeping in my head. I can't handle the things that bounce through my brain on a daily basis sometimes. It is really hard to deal with. I think about a ton of things and it doesn't settle with me well.
I'm tired of boys taking advantage of me and my friends. I'm sick of hearing my friends upset because guys are dicks to them. I don't like that they end up feeling the ass when it is the guy yelling at them and telling them that they didn't do enough. I'm really fed up with it. I don't like the way these things are panning out, and unfortunately, short of screening every person who someone dates, (which isn't possible anyway), there is just nothing I can do for them to help lessen the pain of what these guys do.
Deep down, all we girls really want is someone who loves us. We're pretty easy. These days we don't really care what your job is, and we don't really care about anything as long as you're in love with us. We want to feel loved, and secure. We want to feel as though, if given the choice, you would always choose us. We want to feel this way because it is the way we feel about you. That is the thing. Maybe you guys don't realize it, but, we think that way. That is what we want, at all times. We want to be loved and held at night. It comes down to the feeling of your arms around us...while we snuggle in to sleep.
We want a lot of things, and I'm pretty sure when it comes down to it, that guys want the same things. I hope they do. And someday, I hope I meet a guy who can actually verbalize that rather than just taking his shit out on me. I"m sick of it. If you want something, just say it. If you feel something, just say it. I'm not going to freak out because you say Love, or anything else. I just want to know what it is you feel so I don't feel as though I'm always in the dark.
Maybe that is just too much to ask. For the time being, I'll deal with being alone, cause I hurt too much when I get together with him. I can't imagine someone else out there who could cut me this deep and make me love him this much. It hurts, it sucks, but it has to move on someday.

Done done done...
~M