Seulement

Seulement. Alone. It sounds much less desolate in French. I wish, that I felt less desolate about being alone.  Right now, there is nothing less desolate about it right now. I'm jaded? Yeah, I'm jaded. I'm angry. I'm hurt, and I'm alone. I guess that is just how it goes. I miss Joe, but I'm feeling better as these days just keep going on and on and on. There isn't much I can do, I guess. I mean, I feel like I threw myself under the preverbal bus, or tractor trailer. I always thought that, as long as I wasn't getting emotionally screwed by him, it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. But, perhaps I've always looked at this the wrong way. I can't imagine that things could actually be good. there is too much past, too much history.