Fall

There is something about the fall which makes me a lot more lonely than I am normally. I don't know if it is the calm, or the quite, or even if it really is just the darkness and the cold. I had a hard time with life today, and part of it was remembering things about Joe after crazy dreams last night. I'm not sure what the other part of it was really, but, it wasn't the best day. It also wasn't the worst.
It is really hard to be alone sometimes. It tears at you, and you're never quite sure what is the weather and what is the past memories. That is just how it goes some days.
Todays jaunt down memory lane really did suck, and I was quite unhappy to find myself down a memory lane which made me yearn for what there was once. I can't imagine never having that again, holding hands, walking around a park, just being together and having a change to talk. I feel pain thinking I'll never have that again, but I have to face the reality of that fact. Welcome to my life.


~M