So my little sister got curious and started asking Joe questions....


Joanne Reid
10:55
so talk to me?

Joe Spizzirri (Autoreply)
10:55
and boom goes the dynamite
hey
why would i not talk to you?
im just petrified of you

Joanne Reid
10:57
so whats the deal?

Joe Spizzirri
10:58
I think Em and i drifted cause of distance
i can't deal with it

Joanne Reid
10:59
well i don't really think there was any trying involved...

Joe Spizzirri
10:59
are you serious?

Joanne Reid
10:59
do tell me how you tried...
just to help me out

Joe Spizzirri
10:59
tell me how she tried?

Joanne Reid
10:59
i am just asking

Joe Spizzirri
11:00
well we talked, and i visted a few times
i just had a struggle to deal with us being so far away from each other
and i feel like when i started to talk to her less, she didn't initiate things at all
so then when i get caught up in work and stuff we just stopped talking
i don't wanna give the wrong impression

Joanne Reid
11:01
because she would wait to see if you would try and talk to her

Joe Spizzirri
11:01
what if i was doing the same thing?

Joanne Reid
11:01
same thin? like what?

Joe Spizzirri
11:01
same thing she was doing?
what if i was waiting to see what she would do?

Joanne Reid
11:02
i donno...

Joe Spizzirri
11:02
that's not what i was doing, but she didn't really seem to try

Joanne Reid
11:03
bc she was doing the same thing to you

Joe Spizzirri
11:03
so when i lost track of us, she didn't seem to care

Joanne Reid
11:04
oh she didn't care?
wow

Joe Spizzirri
11:04
you live with her jo
when she never talks to me or reaches out that's what it seems like
i mean ultiamtely it's my fault.. but i don't feel like theere was too much effot on either side

Joanne Reid
11:07
well you didn't seem to have reached out to her either

Joe Spizzirri
11:07
i know
but it's a two way road
neither of us were on it

Joanne Reid
11:07
i know but still

Joe Spizzirri
11:08
it's both of our faults
it's not fun
it kidna sucks
but that's what it is

Joanne Reid
11:09
but i mean i was there your convos were short, you wouldn't text back

Joe Spizzirri
11:09
ok, blame me for it then

Joanne Reid
11:09
i am just saying


oanne Reid
11:12
do you care?

Joe Spizzirri
11:12
yes i care
but what do you want me to say?
i felt like we drifted and no one cared

Joanne Reid
11:14
well what are your intentions now?

Joe Spizzirri
11:15
with what?

Joanne Reid
11:15
where are you going to go from here?

Joe Spizzirri
11:15
i have no idea
where does she wanna go?


Joanne Reid
11:23
i don't get it
...
i'd say that not untrue
...

Joe Spizzirri
11:25
it's not a forgone conclusion
but there is not much hope in all honesty
specially if she really does move to CA

Joanne Reid
11:26
so she is not worth trying to make that work?
i mean that is the question
i mean my brother made it across the ocean...

Joe Spizzirri
11:26
oh

Joanne Reid
11:26
it all depends on whats in the heart
and if you want it that bad...
you can't just say distance, that means nothing

Joe Spizzirri
11:26
she's worth it, but she's not tryin other

Joanne Reid
11:27
i made it 8 months, and would still be going if he did not cheat on me

Joe Spizzirri
11:27
with all do respect, distance is not nothing

Joanne Reid
11:27
if you want it that bad you can make it work

Joe Spizzirri
11:27
right
you made it 8 months
he didn't

Joanne Reid
11:27
he did

Joe Spizzirri
11:27
ok

Joanne Reid
11:27
he was up here with me for 10 days after, the night he got home from up here he cheated

Joe Spizzirri
11:27
i'm not that strong

Joanne Reid
11:27
well then it all comes to what you want
and if she is not that then tell me now

Joe Spizzirri
11:28
there is nothing to tell you

Joanne Reid
11:28
nothing
what do you mean by nothing?

Joe Spizzirri
11:28
i have nothing to say to that
there is no response that i can come up with
i don't want to go after something when i don't have a consistent idea of what we're doing

Joanne Reid
11:30
well you could if both of you tried
and not sat there and were both like well i am waiting for him/ or vise versa

Joe Spizzirri
11:31
probably true

Joanne Reid
11:32
well then i think i need to stop being the goto about all this and you two need to figure it out
i can't fix everything. i just try because i care about my sister and this shit is not cool
i know its not all you, and i know she should have made the move a couple times but your insecurity about the distance shuts her down.
because it is like saying she is not good enough to make it work, it hurts


Joe Spizzirri
11:34Joe Spizzirri
11:35
that im not ready for that kidna commitment

Joanne Reid
11:35
then couldn't you have said that and not some other excuse?
get real come on, this is not high school anymore
that's kina a depressing way to think about it


Joe Spizzirri
11:36
haha, wow
you are just insulting and clueless

Joanne Reid
11:37
insulting?

Joe Spizzirri
11:37
yes
it's not high school
it's real life

Joanne Reid
11:37
exactly
then why say it is not the distance, and that you're just not ready for the commitment..
why come up with something else
that is the high school part

Joe Spizzirri
11:38
no
im not ready for a distance relationship
if she was here it's a different thing

Joanne Reid
11:38
but you just said it was the commitment.

Joe Spizzirri
11:35
that im not ready for that kidna commitment

Joe Spizzirri
11:38
due to distance

Joanne Reid
11:38
but just distance is not good enough

Joe Spizzirri
11:39
ok
i know i can't do it cause of distance
the end

Joanne Reid
11:39
but then again who says your worth her loving you anyway. don't ever say that kind of thing about me. I was sitting here nicely trying to help my sister out because i love her. so whatever, and goodnight

Joanne Reid
11:34
well how else should she think of it?
i mean come on
you don't give her any other reason besides distance... so what is that supposed to say?




So, what do you think folks? My little sister is a peach. She does this because she's upset that I'm getting hurt. I just don't know what to say anymore. OI. The decision about carmel is very hard.


The store here is not very organized and such. I don't know what to do about this. We haven't talked money, and it is gonna take a lot to keep me here. There isn't much around I guess. Maybe I'll see more I like on Sat when I get to drive around with Veronica. Veronica is pretty awesome. I like her a lot. She's pretty interesting when it comes down to it. She just can't do everything on her own.


I don't know what I want to do with my life. I need to deal with these things and try and figure out where i want to go with the rest of my life. I need to know money from these people and see if they can even afford to have me out here. They're talking apartments, I just want to know what they're going to be paying me. I don't really know what else to say but that. I need to know something.


If I come to CA things are going to be very over with Joe. Though I'm not sure that is what I really feel I want. I know it would be better for me to get away. hell, we'd probably communicate better if I was always up three hours later -- cause for once he'd be around to talk. I can't deal with him and his lack of communication. he says I didn't try. I initiated many times, and he just sort of blew me off or didn't want to have a conversation. I am just not so happy with this. I also just don't know what to do. So yeah, he has commitment issues...what else is new??


Anyway, I'd love comments and input. Thanks folks.


<3
M