2010

Welcome to the New Year. Does it not amaze you as it amazes me how quickly time has flow through our lives? Time seems to inconsequential from day to day. We wake, we eat, we work, we search to find ourselves, and we sleep. There is little to no variance in our lives. We wish for past loved ones, and for the lost feelings which filled us with joy and pulled us away from the mundane things we were before so accustomed to.

But what is it about the simple changing of a day. Yes, we survived the race for another day, another year, another decade. We have won, in some ways, the right to continue running pell-mell into tomorrow, next year, and the next decade. What have we won in this race? We’ve won the right to continue trying to ‘find’ ourselves, though at my age this seems to me to be am impossible task.

I was not kidding about going to Ireland . Flights are pretty cheap, actually, and the riding vacation is well within what I can afford to spend, especially if I watch what I spend for the coming months. I will need to be in better shape, and I will need to be out riding some before I go. But I plan on doing it. This adventure, the riding part, will be a week. But if I am going to Ireland , you better believe that I will be doing other things while there as well. I’ll find a way to entertain myself, and hopefully stay for over two weeks. I hope I have a traveling companion, but I am not terribly concerned if I do not.

It is time to take time to myself. I have long dreamed of this journey, and it is time to put everything into motion. I’m through dealing with the day to day mundane that I’ve been trapped in since college. I am constantly amazed with myself that I have been so exhausted by the daily grind in just two and a half years since graduation? Was it even that long? It seems like a complete lifetime. I need a good journey to get myself on my way. What do I want from life? I do not know. I could happily live my life doing a lot of different things, but alas, they most likely would not be paying for a place for me to live.

I always dreamed that one day things would be good and I would be settled in for a lifetime with someone I loved. And yes, I had a someone in mind, because he – even now makes my heart hammer and my stomach tighten with just a though or a glimpse of a memory. As much as I try to forget, to move on, and to distance myself, the dreams are there none the less, and the memories are not so easily erased, replaced, or ignored. It just happens to be something I feel I will always have to deal with, but the wilds of a country I’ve never seen would be one of the most amazing things I could mark this new decade’s beginning with. I would long dream of doing it, and I’m afraid if I do not do it now, I never will. I’m determined, but life has a way of taking things back once I’ve decided on them. Hopefully this dream comes true.

So what of this new decade? We have lived through terrorist attacks, y2k, and many other natural and human disasters for the last decade. What says that this decade will be so different from the last? Can we not simply expect a re-play of the same things, and perhaps worsening things as technology continues to grow? And, perhaps, do we not also have a lingering doubt in the backs of our minds, how long this world will last and sustain us? I am quite sure we would find a way to adapt and escape the worst of the disasters soon to come, but, what guarantee is there? We live now in a world where we take too much and give back too little. We live with a constant threat of the world ending, of violence, and of pain. We seek to report on the sadness, and neglect to see the polar opposite.

What does that say of us as a people? We have much more complex goals than those before us. We have much more interesting and crazy hopes and dreams. We have larger potential for education and invention. We all want to save the world – in some way all our own.

So welcome to another day, which in all reality, is no different from yesterday, or the day before. Except, perhaps that it is not snowing here today. J The snow has been lovely lately though. I mean getting into work covered from foot to hip in mud because you tried to help your friend get her car out when she got it stuck in the mud in the morning. Yeah, it was delightful. I’m still enjoying the snow. No more rescuing friends with car problems on the 1^st of the year. Lol. Two stuck cars, two years in a row, at least neither of them were my cars. J