I cannot wait for this day.

I think that this day will be on of the happiest days of my life. I'm looking, I swear. I'm changing my life in the hopes that someday -- someday I'll be able to forget.

New Beginnings

What is there to write really, but what has happened in the last few months. Things got difficult during the end of November and the beginning of December. I tried to make it clear to my disbelieving boss that I was not going to be staying long past Christmas. I guess a month was a little longer than I wanted to stay, but it suited me okay and now I'm on to something else.
My last day of work with this company is February 10th. I am so excited. I have wanted out of this job for a while now. Though I really enjoyed working with the people and learning about the product and answering all the questions...I could not deal with some of the staff and I was exhausted because I had to do the work of EVERYONE. I was spending all my time fixing mistakes and dealing with angry customers. It was not what I wanted.
The last straw came with Leena hiring a "manager' for the other store at 10,000$ a year more than she offered me. He has some retail experience, but literally does not know anything about pens. She brought in someone and paid them much more than she was willing to offer me. It completely sucks. I cannot wait until someone else has to deal with everything that I have been dealing with for ages.

So, after this, I'm heading to NY to take care of my grandparents until they are ready to move into their new place. I am looking forward to it so that I can catch up with Katy (EXCITEMENT) and see some of the city. I have wanted to go back to NY for a while, but work has kept me far, far away from my family. It is time for it to yield to what I want and get on it. :-)

So that is the story -- For now.

It has been two long years little cousin and we miss you every day. Happy Angel day Allison. I'm quite sure you're running around up there getting into mischief in the true Reid fashion. Remind Poppop that he has to show you the most amazing handstands, steal his chick-lets for me just one more time.

RIP: Allison Reid March 1st, 2002- January 25th, 2008  

www.allisonhugs.org

Ponderings

I thought I was writing a novel to end the story we'd begun but couldn't end. We laughed so many times about finally getting to write our ending from the same page. Though I miss those times, and those dreams of the future -- because everything was so in-tune. Turns out -- the ending we planned was just not in the cards. Here is to twists and turns in the plot of life, and to having something better in the future just write its way into your life...


On the subject of fairy tales:
They don't have a lot of fancy writing, but they all have the same basic story line. Girl and boy A and boy B. Girl has boy A and gets in trouble, is rescued by boy B and falls in love with him. End of story with happily ever after.
Even today's media feeds into the frenzy that women want to be 'rescued'. Maybe that is why we stay with people who hurt us, stay with people who don't love us as much as they could... I think we all want to be cared about, rescued, and secured for a lifetime of 'happiness' as we were raised to believe would happen.
We, as women, await the most simple romantic gesture in our lives. It doesn't really matter which man it comes from, but we await it. We just want you to send flowers on a whim, or show up just to say hi. It is the little things which have always counted, and in the sense of romantic interests and lives running along fairy tale guidelines, we want the guy who even remotely appears to care. 
Funny how that works. Thanks Disney for screwing up millions of women. We now set our standards too high, and lose the people we care about the most. That is not the way to do our lives.

The life of a Leo

A Leo is:


Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem.  Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun.. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing.  Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find.


"Loves being in long relationships" oh great.


Anyway -- lots going through my head tonight -- and I'm not feeling it so I cannot write it right now.

Je Veux ton Amour

I once said I found my soul mate. I thought I had found my completed half to the universal whole. "Je me  sens comme si j'ai redécouvert mon autre moitié."  I thought that, and then I figured out that just how it feels to hurt every day and every night. It sucks more than I thought it would -- to try and always be forgetting. But how do you forget? Answer: you don't. It doesn't happen. I cannot be the girl who is always hurting. I do not know anymore, who I am or who I want to be. For the longest time I just wanted to be with him and figure things out along the road. Right now I’m fighting to figure out where I’ll be in the next few months – and who I’ll eventually be with.

There are so many stories I could tell, of the dreams I have and the memories which flash through my head and catch my breath in my throat. There are times when my heart is so constricted that I feel the need to remove the daggers which pierce my heart and constrict it’s beat. I just cannot play this anymore.

If there were a way to remove memories which one finds painful, would you? Would you risk all of your memories to stop the pain you’ve had for so long?

What would you do?

At work...again

             What else is there to do, really, when you’re are work but sit down and write down your latest blog entry? I guess not much else besides the inventory on hundreds of stupid little pens. There was way too much to do when I figured out this morning that one of the companies inventory was really wrong. Needless to say, I managed to get it re-done, get everything re-tagged, and then make sure that the inventory was reflected correctly in the system. It took me from 12-4 to actually get that all done, and now I’m eagerly awaiting being able to get the heck out of here and go home. We’re eating the deer tonight, which is another fun story – and I have to open tomorrow morning anyway, so I want to go home.

                The Deer Story:

                My little sister is dating a marine. He’s a marine we all pretty much like (Not the bastard that she dated before). He hunts – typical marine, he likes to shoot at things. He’s a pretty good shot and he hunts off our deck. He and his buddies live happily on deer for most of the year. My father hates deer and they are always running into cars and eating his plants. SO he lets Proia hunt off the deck. Mind you, our deck is in the woods and the deer are usually under 100 yards away from where we stand. It is the perfect place to hunt because the kills are clean and we have easy shots.

                Last weekend Proia went hunting. He took down a doe and we went out into the lingering snow to go and get her. She was probably 75lbs and we had to gut her (That was a new experience). Little Bit was a little too squeamish to help so I helped Proia gut the thing. It was pretty neat, and surprisingly wasn’t terrible. I guess after dissecting things for years in HS and College it really didn’t phase me, but I was able to point out what all the important parts were.

                Once gutted we had to get her home to the house. It was up hill and she was heavy, and still dripping. I had to help Proia lift her onto his shoulders and we both got rather bloody. Though, he more so than I did. It was a bit gross to have all the blood running places, but tis life and I have a feeling that she is going to be damn good eating. Haha. We got her to the house and Proia showed me how to skin and butcher a deer. I hadn’t seen that before either, unless you count that random time in PA when I was drinking with a few friends and one of their friends showed up with a deer after it totaled his car. They butchered that thing and froze the meat, but I didn’t really watch it too closely, and when I think of it now it reminds me slightly of a horror movie – or a murder she wrote story from TV.

                Needless to say, we had a pretty good time and got some good meat off the doe. We’re cooking it tonight, so we’ll see how that goes. I’ll add an update later with some more information on my first run-in with venison.

                In other news, I’m the proud new owner of a CuisinArt Espresso Machine! I’m pretty thrilled about this for a few reasons. Espresso is my friend when I have to be up at the crack of dawn. Also, this thing was 50% off of what its usual price is. It is a really good machine. I’m pretty thrilled to be playing Barista and my white chocolate syrup comes next week! EEEE! Nothing like a homemade white mocha in the morning rather than having to spend 5$ a pop on that at Starbucks or Nordstrom’s café. They both have good coffee, yes, but that is a little pricy when you’re working and living on coffee all the time. SO far what I’ve made has been fantastic. I’m really looking forward to getting better and better at this! I’m happy to be saving the money and since I didn’t pay that much I’ll be making up for the price of the machine in no time while thoroughly avoiding starbucks and their new higher prices for larger drinks. On that topic, did you know that Starbucks makes a Venti just like a Grande, with more milk? The number of shots of espresso doesn’t actually change. NO wonder Nordstrom’s espresso is so much better. Their Enorme drink is three shots and a little less milk to the Starbucks Venti. .. Way to scam people Starbucks.

                I made a caramel macchiato last night for my mother. She said it was just like starbucks version. So apparently I did okay. Haha. She drank it really fast, and finished it. I also think we’re a little beyond the humoring me because I’m her kid stage. So that one apparently gets an A+. W00t.