Train of Thought

My train of thought always ends with the same Caboose.

The statement may sound funny, but, it is quite true.

I'll explain more later.

"I just can't do this" as an excuse to end a relationship.

It has come to light again recently that "I just can't do this." or "I can't do this to you." or "I just don't know." are now - a - days acceptable excuses for a rather serious relationship to end. How is it that you can go from talking about a future, living together, marriage, and children to one of these excuses so quickly.
News flash, everyone has issues at one point or another. The thing is being the adult and being able to discuss these things with your partner. When one side of the equation is left without understanding or resolution it is one of the hardest things to go through. Yes, you hit rough patches in your life, your mood and thinking change, but, isn't the point of being with someone the point that over time you're supposed to want to go through life with this person? I would say that yes, that is the point of dating someone and talking about a future. But what future is there really when you cannot talk about what bothers you with your partner.
Granted, it is not always the case that things work out 100%, but why not try? Instead of running away and thinking that your partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc -- doesn't understand, why not talk to h/er and figure things out. It makes no sense to 'fade out' (a term adapted from my own dying conversations through romance with people), or to just point blank run away from the person you're supposed to care about.
Since when has it become acceptable to run from your problems? I am quite sure that these excuses have not always existed in one form or another...but seriously?

What stops you from asking what is wrong when a conversation just seems wrong. One of the things which gets me, is that I am worried about starting something because of me trying to figure out what is going on. I know I don't always make it easy, but I know that trying is important. I, unfortunately, tend to pull away when I can feel a change in the person I'm seeing. This tends to be mainly when I'm talking to Joe. I get a little freaked about any move that I make because I never really know what makes us stop talking. Maybe someday we'll figure that out. How I would love to get it right someday.

*sigh* anyway. I feel bad for my little sister, who is currently in this predicament. Boys are weird.

OMG SNOW

Holy cow, there is about three feet of snow all around us. it is crazy!

So far, we had 19 inches at the beginning of this morning, and from here, we have gotten at least another foot ish...

Yikes!

I cannot wait for this day.

I think that this day will be on of the happiest days of my life. I'm looking, I swear. I'm changing my life in the hopes that someday -- someday I'll be able to forget.

New Beginnings

What is there to write really, but what has happened in the last few months. Things got difficult during the end of November and the beginning of December. I tried to make it clear to my disbelieving boss that I was not going to be staying long past Christmas. I guess a month was a little longer than I wanted to stay, but it suited me okay and now I'm on to something else.
My last day of work with this company is February 10th. I am so excited. I have wanted out of this job for a while now. Though I really enjoyed working with the people and learning about the product and answering all the questions...I could not deal with some of the staff and I was exhausted because I had to do the work of EVERYONE. I was spending all my time fixing mistakes and dealing with angry customers. It was not what I wanted.
The last straw came with Leena hiring a "manager' for the other store at 10,000$ a year more than she offered me. He has some retail experience, but literally does not know anything about pens. She brought in someone and paid them much more than she was willing to offer me. It completely sucks. I cannot wait until someone else has to deal with everything that I have been dealing with for ages.

So, after this, I'm heading to NY to take care of my grandparents until they are ready to move into their new place. I am looking forward to it so that I can catch up with Katy (EXCITEMENT) and see some of the city. I have wanted to go back to NY for a while, but work has kept me far, far away from my family. It is time for it to yield to what I want and get on it. :-)

So that is the story -- For now.

It has been two long years little cousin and we miss you every day. Happy Angel day Allison. I'm quite sure you're running around up there getting into mischief in the true Reid fashion. Remind Poppop that he has to show you the most amazing handstands, steal his chick-lets for me just one more time.

RIP: Allison Reid March 1st, 2002- January 25th, 2008  

www.allisonhugs.org

Ponderings

I thought I was writing a novel to end the story we'd begun but couldn't end. We laughed so many times about finally getting to write our ending from the same page. Though I miss those times, and those dreams of the future -- because everything was so in-tune. Turns out -- the ending we planned was just not in the cards. Here is to twists and turns in the plot of life, and to having something better in the future just write its way into your life...


On the subject of fairy tales:
They don't have a lot of fancy writing, but they all have the same basic story line. Girl and boy A and boy B. Girl has boy A and gets in trouble, is rescued by boy B and falls in love with him. End of story with happily ever after.
Even today's media feeds into the frenzy that women want to be 'rescued'. Maybe that is why we stay with people who hurt us, stay with people who don't love us as much as they could... I think we all want to be cared about, rescued, and secured for a lifetime of 'happiness' as we were raised to believe would happen.
We, as women, await the most simple romantic gesture in our lives. It doesn't really matter which man it comes from, but we await it. We just want you to send flowers on a whim, or show up just to say hi. It is the little things which have always counted, and in the sense of romantic interests and lives running along fairy tale guidelines, we want the guy who even remotely appears to care. 
Funny how that works. Thanks Disney for screwing up millions of women. We now set our standards too high, and lose the people we care about the most. That is not the way to do our lives.