The life of a Leo

A Leo is:


Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem.  Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun.. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing.  Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find.


"Loves being in long relationships" oh great.


Anyway -- lots going through my head tonight -- and I'm not feeling it so I cannot write it right now.

Je Veux ton Amour

I once said I found my soul mate. I thought I had found my completed half to the universal whole. "Je me  sens comme si j'ai redécouvert mon autre moitié."  I thought that, and then I figured out that just how it feels to hurt every day and every night. It sucks more than I thought it would -- to try and always be forgetting. But how do you forget? Answer: you don't. It doesn't happen. I cannot be the girl who is always hurting. I do not know anymore, who I am or who I want to be. For the longest time I just wanted to be with him and figure things out along the road. Right now I’m fighting to figure out where I’ll be in the next few months – and who I’ll eventually be with.

There are so many stories I could tell, of the dreams I have and the memories which flash through my head and catch my breath in my throat. There are times when my heart is so constricted that I feel the need to remove the daggers which pierce my heart and constrict it’s beat. I just cannot play this anymore.

If there were a way to remove memories which one finds painful, would you? Would you risk all of your memories to stop the pain you’ve had for so long?

What would you do?

At work...again

             What else is there to do, really, when you’re are work but sit down and write down your latest blog entry? I guess not much else besides the inventory on hundreds of stupid little pens. There was way too much to do when I figured out this morning that one of the companies inventory was really wrong. Needless to say, I managed to get it re-done, get everything re-tagged, and then make sure that the inventory was reflected correctly in the system. It took me from 12-4 to actually get that all done, and now I’m eagerly awaiting being able to get the heck out of here and go home. We’re eating the deer tonight, which is another fun story – and I have to open tomorrow morning anyway, so I want to go home.

                The Deer Story:

                My little sister is dating a marine. He’s a marine we all pretty much like (Not the bastard that she dated before). He hunts – typical marine, he likes to shoot at things. He’s a pretty good shot and he hunts off our deck. He and his buddies live happily on deer for most of the year. My father hates deer and they are always running into cars and eating his plants. SO he lets Proia hunt off the deck. Mind you, our deck is in the woods and the deer are usually under 100 yards away from where we stand. It is the perfect place to hunt because the kills are clean and we have easy shots.

                Last weekend Proia went hunting. He took down a doe and we went out into the lingering snow to go and get her. She was probably 75lbs and we had to gut her (That was a new experience). Little Bit was a little too squeamish to help so I helped Proia gut the thing. It was pretty neat, and surprisingly wasn’t terrible. I guess after dissecting things for years in HS and College it really didn’t phase me, but I was able to point out what all the important parts were.

                Once gutted we had to get her home to the house. It was up hill and she was heavy, and still dripping. I had to help Proia lift her onto his shoulders and we both got rather bloody. Though, he more so than I did. It was a bit gross to have all the blood running places, but tis life and I have a feeling that she is going to be damn good eating. Haha. We got her to the house and Proia showed me how to skin and butcher a deer. I hadn’t seen that before either, unless you count that random time in PA when I was drinking with a few friends and one of their friends showed up with a deer after it totaled his car. They butchered that thing and froze the meat, but I didn’t really watch it too closely, and when I think of it now it reminds me slightly of a horror movie – or a murder she wrote story from TV.

                Needless to say, we had a pretty good time and got some good meat off the doe. We’re cooking it tonight, so we’ll see how that goes. I’ll add an update later with some more information on my first run-in with venison.

                In other news, I’m the proud new owner of a CuisinArt Espresso Machine! I’m pretty thrilled about this for a few reasons. Espresso is my friend when I have to be up at the crack of dawn. Also, this thing was 50% off of what its usual price is. It is a really good machine. I’m pretty thrilled to be playing Barista and my white chocolate syrup comes next week! EEEE! Nothing like a homemade white mocha in the morning rather than having to spend 5$ a pop on that at Starbucks or Nordstrom’s café. They both have good coffee, yes, but that is a little pricy when you’re working and living on coffee all the time. SO far what I’ve made has been fantastic. I’m really looking forward to getting better and better at this! I’m happy to be saving the money and since I didn’t pay that much I’ll be making up for the price of the machine in no time while thoroughly avoiding starbucks and their new higher prices for larger drinks. On that topic, did you know that Starbucks makes a Venti just like a Grande, with more milk? The number of shots of espresso doesn’t actually change. NO wonder Nordstrom’s espresso is so much better. Their Enorme drink is three shots and a little less milk to the Starbucks Venti. .. Way to scam people Starbucks.

                I made a caramel macchiato last night for my mother. She said it was just like starbucks version. So apparently I did okay. Haha. She drank it really fast, and finished it. I also think we’re a little beyond the humoring me because I’m her kid stage. So that one apparently gets an A+. W00t.

Fa la la, la la...

So, what has been up lately? I've failed at writing a bit, and have started yet another book. I'm reading Outlander, not The Outlander (which I read a few months ago), but Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. So this happened quite accidentally. I picked up a book that caught my eye at Costco the other day and did not fully read the entire thing looking for details about this -- which is how I always end up reading series. It should be kinda interesting, so we'll see.

I just too NyQuil again, because I'm sick again -- so it is time to go to bed before I pass out with the computer in bed...

I'll finish updating about this new Series later. Laurel K Hamilton's new Novel FLIRT comes out on Feb 2nd. I cannot wait to see what happens in this new 18th installment in the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series. For all of you who hated Twilight -- or Loved it -- Read a real Vampire Novel...

News

     So what is there to say right now? I have been inside and outside of my brain for the past few days. Days which finally involved me getting better, and a date with a new guy who may maintain a permanent place in my life. Yeah I know, right? Date number two should be happening Wednesday because we just had that good a date last night. We went out for dinner. Short of showing up with flowers and such, he opened every door for me (at least the ones I let him get to first), always let me walk ahead of him, and wouldn't let me pay for a thing.
     Now, I'm not saying it is always a requirement of guys to do these things, but sometimes it is nice to be treated as though you're being dated, rather than just going out for a date in the 21st century. I mean, what is there really left when you're in this day and age? Sometimes it is just nice to have someone who acts like he really wants you around. I guess I still have a hugely romantic side in me. I just love the idea of chivalry and surprises -- though knowing a surprise is coming drives me absolutely crazy.
     I really just like the spontaneous nature some people can have. I like it when you surprise me with something to do, or something as little as a song which makes you think of me. I like people who show up randomly, just to say hi, or maybe to grab a fast lunch. I want to look for you in ever person who enters a house, room, business, or restaurant. I want to look and know that it is a possibility that you just might be there. I don't want to be in a relationship where I would tell my own mind, 'no, he isn't that type of guy. he wouldn't do that.' I really don't want that sort of thing.
     I want a guy who never lets me go to bed angry. Someone who always wants to talk things out rather than get quiet and go awol. I would much rather deal with someone being upset and angry than dealing with someone who I feel that I cannot reach no matter what I do.
     
     Needless to say, it was a good date. Dinner was excellent, if not a little bit too tight for me. I say tight because it was a restaurant with different lighting which was darker and a little loud. I feel as though we could have picked a much more interesting place to eat, but on a Sunday it might have been tough to get a calmer environment anywhere. No fault there, but I also didn't love the feeling that I was left with from the movie "Up in the Air." It was a rather depressing movie about a man with no family ties, and no nothing. He spent all of his life traveling for a company which hired him out to other companies to fire people. It was very interesting -- and had rather hilarious parts, but it was EXTREMELY depressing towards the end. I did not rather enjoy the feeling of desperation which made me feel that my job had a bleak outlook.


Anyway, that is the story for the time being. We'll have to see what happens.


I'm still working on my novel, and I need to really put some work into it and see where else I can go with it. I need to get my Tablet. I really need it so I can get it up and working and take it to work with me so I can do something productive while I'm there.


Else wise. Writerscafe.org is a fantastic site where I've been listing some of my new work and some of my stories in progress. MoonlitShadow is my name, though you've got to register to read. it is free, so check it out. Leave comments if you want!

I'm going to say...

How did I get here...and what do I have to do to get back?

Katy, you're so right. What has happened to us over the last couple years. Answer --> The Real World.